I am a human being. An imperfect person, a work-in-progress.

Sometimes this being human causes my clean pain* (the direct pain of actual suffering in life from events over which I have no control) bumps up against my dirty pain (pain caused by thoughts and judgments heaped onto my experience, which is something I can learn to control). Dirty pain isn't necessary, but it is common to humans because of a thing called consciousness run by a funny little beast called the brain.

Our assumptions, belief systems and learned fears live in the connections in our brains. They are pathways made of a thick rope not unlike a bridge cable -- steel wires wrapped around one another and reinforced.

When I was a very little girl, my personal lizard brain (a red-winged dragon named Zed) started building a whole series of cables around the idea that the World is an Unsafe Place. My mother suffered severe anxiety, which I felt keenly, and she also left me places, forgetting to pick me up from school, putting her cigarette out on my knuckle because she wasn't paying attention and thought that's where the ashtray was (my mother was confused, but never cruel). School was a source of constant strife, bullying and bitchiness. The adults wanted me to be smart and work up to my potential, the kids wanted me to dumb myself down. My first crush was killed in a car accident; a family friend went to jail for arson; and someone my mother entrusted to drive me to school regularly went to prison for multiple murders. By the time I was a teenager, I had internalized all this fear. Fear that, let's face it, was not helping me AT ALL, but had been reinforced left and right and was the strongest pathway in my brain. My mother began to say "You need to be more careful. You shouldn't go here, hang out with this person, wear that dress because [INSERT TERRIBLE THING] might happen to you." I got so mad at her for this, but now I laugh because it was so unnecessary. Even before she opened her mouth I was terrified of all those things anyway.

So set up a lifelong pattern of attempting to control everything I possibly could, in order to gain a slight sense of safety, and worrying about much of what I could not. Now I'm left with steel bridge cables that are a challenge for me to rewire; yes... It takes many small, new choices and experiences and daily effort relaying the cables in a different direction, and slowly untangling the knots. It is possible, but it's an inside job requiring compassion and perserverance, and not an overnight one.

Sometimes I bump up against others who are frustrated by my turtle-progress:

"Snap out of it!" "Get over it!" "Don't freak out!"

As though these are prescriptions and solutions, or are in any way helpful. I think back on all the times I have said these very things to those I loved -- and there have been many -- and I realize that those words are born of the moment when I trip over the edge of compassion and move into judgment. Because if I am coming from a place of compassion and self-containment, whether you are freaking out or need to get over it or not, ultimately should not matter.

If the words "Snap out of it" worked... we'd all snap out of it, permanently. But until someone sprinkles stardust on the word "abracadabra" and finds a way to instantaneously change our brain pathways, it's just not a useful prescription.

So now I look inside to the part of me that likes to say things like "Snap out of it".. to myself. My Dictator is fond of this word usage. She totally means well -- as all our parts do -- but it is utterly futile; she lives in the part of my brain that knows another crazy part of me, my Rebel, will start arguing with her the minute this golden nugget slips on through.

It would be grand to be able to say I let my soul lead my life, that I always listen to my body and renounce ego, etc.  But no matter how much I strive for that, the fact is as a human being I have to live with the brain I've been given. Which means I need to find out how to talk to it and work with it most effectively.

For example, in order to start digging out of my depression, I couldn't keep saying "Snap out of it!" I had to find a new approach.

The day that I put one foot in front of the other, I said to myself, "Okay. In 2 minutes I'm going to get up, walk over to the dresser, and take out a new shirt." Anything that happened after that was not to be decided until I was there. I could crawl back in bed or put the shirt on and I would still be calling it a personal success.

That was how I started to come alive again, little by little. And I'm coming along okay. I still haven't gotten a job or resolved the world peace issue, but today my goal was to put the first round of "to donate" items from my recent decluttering into the car. Which led to driving to Goodwill to drop them off, followed by a walk along the pond in the park, a trip to the Post Office and a lovely Chinese takeout dinner which I enjoyed sitting next to my kitty while she lounged delirious with bliss in the sunshine. Then I wrote this blog post. Not bad, 'eh?
I'm pretty sure I'd still be in bed right now if I were still saying to myself "snap out of it!"

Let's find new, more compassionate ways to help ourselves and those we love when they're doing something that isn't ultimately for their own good. Understanding and acceptance is a start. Gently leading them towards awareness without judgment is another great approach.

We're all works in progress, me and you.

*Clean pain, dirty pain, the Dictator and lizard brain all concepts borrowed from Martha Beck's Steering by Starlight.

I've been wallowing in my grief and depression for a while. Perhaps even marinating in it.

As a first phase in processing The Hard Stuff, wallowing is actually pretty good. Although marinating in your discontent gets a bad rap, from my experience and perspective, it is perfectly acceptable to do just this when you are grieving or otherwise experiencing a Shitty Circumstance.

So, yes, wallowing is good. Until one day, it isn't.

Unfortunately this moment comes and goes without much notice. It doesn't jump up and bite you in the ass or announce itself in titillating detail like the movie trailer voiceover guy who announces major plot points over a jarring, suspenseful film score. 

It's more like a cramp in your baby toe, and when you're nursing a Really Big Hurt, your baby toe doesn't get much notice. One day you just realize that your wallowing has taken an especially ugly turn, and your comfort foods and habits are no longer comforting, yet you find that you are consuming them at an ever-increasing and alarming rate.

Then there's the time between the realization that you are wallowing -- and isn't good for you anymore -- and the moment when you finally pick yourself up off the floor and do something about it. This is a deeply uncomfortable phase. You can see in your mind's eye the end result of a task you need to accomplish -- you know it feels really good to shower, for instance, what a wonder and joy it is to be clean --yet for any number of reasons you just can't do it. And you just get more and more frustrated with yourself.

You had no problems digging in to your pain and grief.. but now you're not sure how to dig out.

But still you find a way.. by taking one small action. This isn't earth-shattering, either. The idea that we have to turn our lives completely around in one radical instant prevents a whole hell of a lot of people from taking the small step that brings them toward their own quiet, perfectly-suited-to-them inner revolution.

For myself, it started with writing down on a piece of paper all the things I needed to do. This had nothing to do with the satisfaction of crossing things off -- I've really only accomplished a few things so far. Rather, it came from a need to get all these tasks out of my head where they were overwhelming me. Why? Because I not only needed to do them, but I also needed to remember that I needed to do them, and if there's one-thing a depressed and addled brain can't do, it's that.

So that was step one. Now I'm making the dig-out up as a I go along. It involves:

• Listening to this song by Minnie Driver, and just realizing I am perfectly okay where I am and the sun is gonna shine again one day super soon.

• Sending out an overdue Museletter, which I did last week.. just being honest about where I'm at. I felt much better after doing this; one less thing hanging over my head and I got some wonderful messages of love and support, for which I am enormously grateful.
• Decluttering a small area 10 minutes at a time.
• Eating lots of greens and investing in a juicer to get some more nutrients into my body.
• Keeping my inbox to less than 10 items.
• Writing this blog.

So, this is me, climbing out. I'm just taking it slow. Hello!

_ This post was originally shared in the October Museletter. Are you signed up? Museletter subscribers get exclusive content, first dibs on freebies and additional chances to enter giveaways! Sign up here!



“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

That’s how the saying goes, and I have always loved it; but I am thinking now what it means in relation to A Course in Miracles.

_
The Course states that all our choices, decisions and thoughts come from either fear or love, and the two cannot exist simultaneously. Love is pretty easy to recognize (if hard to achieve), while fear can sneakily wear the face of anxiety, anger, hatred or even indifference. Only the experience of Love brings us peace.

The experience of Love is “right-minded” thinking, according the Course, and is considered a miracle in perception. It is also an example of Heaven on earth.

Living from fear keeps us far from peace -- it is Hell on earth.

How often have we made a decision or pursued a course of action from what we considered to be good intentions, only to fail miserably, and descend into fear, self-hatred and anxiety at the result?

We want desperately to see our scales move to a shinier, happier number. So we set ourselves  the task of “losing weight”. But we hit a bump in the road when our weight doesn’t budge as quickly as we like. And all we really lose is faith in ourselves.

What is the root of this desire to lose weight? Perhaps you’re single and convinced no one will ever love you unless you lose 40 lbs. But you’re also getting older and magazines tell  you (wrongfully, I might add) that you are more likely to be shot out of the sky by a terrorist than to find love and get married at your age. You feel you must move quickly.

And thus, fear and desperation are at the bottom of your quest to lose weight, and that can only lead to one place: Hell.

I recently had an epiphany about my own health and weight. I ditched my scale 8 months ago, and though I do not know how much I weigh, I do know it’s too much for me to experience optimal health. I do know that I cannot run across the street without getting winded, which was not a problem when I was training Couch to 5k, and I know that clothes that used to fit me easily no longer fit at all.

Having struggled with health in recent years in a variety of ways, I know what it’s like to feel great and, on the flipside, what it’s like to feel quite sick as a regular thing. Health is my goal. I know, deep down in my bones, that the picture of health for me does not include this weight. Extra weight is a side effect of failing health; less weight is typically a side effect of regaining health*. This does not mean that I have to use the weight as a marker of my health at all. In fact, my goal of good health includes a variety of markers independent of what the scale says. I simply trust the weight will budge, and I surrender the fears surrounding that particular piece of the health puzzle.

I can love myself for where I am at, and still desire better for myself. Self-love does not praise your unhealthy habits and pretend they are healthy; self-love accepts who you are in the present and lovingly nudges you toward better choices, as soon as you are willing to make them, and not a moment before.

This is a desire rooted in Love. If I meet my “goal” of health, I simply cannot lose; and that is Heaven on earth.

What are the roots of your desires?
Can you ask, today, for a miracle in perception that might allow you to shift your goals from ones based on fear to ones based on love?

*I am no expert on you, and only you can know what your personal appropriate health set point is, just as only I can truly know mine.

_I know life hurts sometimes. I know you want to hide. I know you want to stay quiet while words war inside your heart and head.

But the world carries so much hurt of its own, it needs your warrior's heart, wide open.

The world needs your truth. Demands your truth. Can survive on nothing less.

The world needs the gifts you bring, the ones you are hiding behind some buried shame.

The words are there but you are terrified to speak them; I was once just like you.

You think no one could possibly understand. But someone somewhere does.

Someone somewhere is struggling with the same exact thing. Someone else's heart is breaking.

Break the silence and you don't just heal yourself; you heal us all.

If you can't grab a friend or regale a stranger, put your pen in hand. Let it all out.

Don't hold back. Now is not the time to stop the flow.

Declare your heart's manifesto; pump your fist in the air and swear never to shut your heart again.

Swear you will always seek the smallest seed of courage in the face of your fear. Promise you will always try.

Remember your face when you were two, three, four. Do it for her; and ask for more.

She deserves the world; give it to her, one day at a time. Feed the child in your soul with all your love and all your heart and tear down the walls to let it all in. The tender-hearted are resilient, strong; hearts broken scar over and grow, grow, grow; walled hearts shrivel and die.

Love sews up broken hearts with magical golden thread; but you only get this magic if you're willing to be broken. Take off your mask and your bullet-proof vest. Be willing to step out beyond the edge, trusting in the uncertainty.

Life is a mystery, no single moment beyond now is guaranteed. Walk fully into it anyway.

You are a warrior. Let that truth shine a light into your darkest corners. Gather your strength, rise up.

Every day greet the world and write your manifesto across the hearts of those you meet. With a touch. With a smile. With the truth.

(To quote John Mayer) say what you need to say.

Your heart needs to speak, and someone's heart is aching to hear it.

You have taken the first steps to freedom. And once you've tasted freedom, you are always free, whether in your whole being or in the smallest part of you.

You are a warrior, you cannot be caged. Love rushes in to raise up your courageous heart.

_I guess I am still being a bit of a New Year's rebel. Instead of fixing my life, I find myself really wanting to savor it.

Give up the striving. Stop the need to be smaller, smarter, softer (in all the right places), firmer (in all the others), faster.. stop needing to be anything other than what I am right now. Do we ever sit still long enough to find out who this person is? Without squinting with digust and slapping a label of "Before" on our current image of self, while knee-deep in the striving toward the image of "After"?

My word for 2012 may be Yes, but a lot of those Yeses need a counter-balancing No.

_I'm giggling to myself, "Oh, Sara." I have downloaded possibly my 9,000th FREE ebook, bookmarked a hundred blog articles to my toread tag on delicious, and last week I signed up for the 5th groovy new mindfulness challenge of January. They are everywhere this month! A series of symptoms that point to excessive striving. The emails for these challenges arrive and I have to sheepishly remind myself that I cannot do it all, and certainly not all in January. My enthusiastic Yeses need to learn that saying No to doing it all is saying Yes to the calm in my soul.

I am putting behind me the chaos of trying to do everything, there is so much pain in the striving, I need to let it go.

As part of my introduction in Writing Our Way Home's ecourse A Year of Questions, I found myself articulating my current life lessons:

• Life is meant to be lived, not resisted;
• surrender is simply the wise recognition that we don't have control, anyway;
• and the removal of cat-hair from clothing is futile and a waste of my precious time. (This one is actually the hardest.)

Goodbye to trying to do everything, and at once, and perfectly... without cat hair. I will not live a life manipulating it beyond all recognition by trying to follow "5 Ways to Be Better" at anything. My Inner Director is learning to give it up to the Director Upstairs. And the cats, well.. they are staying.

Still. I *do* want to share these yummies with you. For you to do, when you  feel called to, or not at all. I do not wish to stir up chaos in the cauldron of your heart, or to be in service to your striving. Strive no more! You are perfect. So am I. (still giggling)

Despite that.. there is some Great Shit happening. (Did I just swear on my blog? YES!)

A River of Stones: A challenge in mindfulness and writing. Each day observe something fully and then write a small stone about it. Can't do it this month? Pick up this practice whenever you like and aim for 30 or more days of stones. I managed to capture some amazing moments on the day my father passed away and in the days that followed by playing with this practice in a little journal I got for Christmas that fits in my purse.

A Year of Questions: Dedicated to living the questions that life hands us (and that are captured in Fiona's gorgeous companion ebook) and slowing down, being present. I think this challenge actually speaks to my need to stop striving. You can sign up any time during 2012, stay a month or the whole year. I'm not getting paid to tell you this! I am simply quite pleased to have found this gorgeous community.

The Wild Elephant Project: I'm planning on following along as best I can despite the fact that I don't yet have the book that inspired it -- How To Train a Wild Elephant and Other Adventures in Mindfulness by Jan Chozen Bays. I love how Lisa gives us permission to make this practice our own and begin when we are ready to, while also reminding us of something you'll often hear me saying: you will get out of this what you put in. No one will admonish you for not doing your practice, but you're shortchanging yourself. Self-respect is the ultimate Yes!

365 Altars: Just the name of this project made my heart flutter. I haven't yet committed to this or dove in, but I intend to. Every day, honor your Self by creating something that brings this self out in the world in a tangible way.

Book of Days: Effy Wild is sharing her art journaling passion for FREE throughout the year! Weekly arting videos and tons of techniques and how-tos are sure to inspire and it won't cost you a dime.

SacredSexyHealthy: Lisa Carmen of SacredSexyU has committed to turning this train around and getting healthy in 2012. Not a diet or some fad way to lose weight, everyone gets to define for themselves what steps they need to take to get healthier. There's a FREE Facebook group to help keep you accountable and to follow Lisa along on her journey to wellness.

My Body, My Temple: Carrie Hensley's inaugural expedition of My Body, My Temple is chugging along. Though I haven't been following it to a T (rebellion, again), I am enjoying the sense of slowing down and being present in my body.

And, since this is about letting go and NOT striving to add more pressure and striving to your precious plate, I leave you with a link to Danielle Dowling's wise words on letting go, in a phrase, to "proactively choose to let go you make delicious space for what you really want to show up."

What feelings or experiences do you really want to show up? Only invest your time in those things that actively invite these experiences in, and see what happens!

Amen!

This year my chosen word is Yes, and I expect I shall be writing about it frequently. Yes encompasses, for me, the words Receive, Open, Fearless, Freedom and Courage. It also takes under its wing my previous Words of the Year, Self-Love and Surrender.

It is a natural progression. It is big and bold. It is an affirmation of life itself.

YES!

Self-Love
We are always being told that we need to learn how to say No. I need to learn this just as much as anyone else, as I've found myself at various times taking on too much and overstepping my own boundaries. But learning to say No when it's appropriate is really just one more way of saying Yes to yourself. It's about self-respect.

Surrender
My journey with Surrender has really only just begun. Knowing intellectually that I do not ultimately have control has done little to stop my tendency to micro-manage everything. I am learning to undo this lifelong habit, one day at a time.

But No is resistance, and resistance is the opposite of Surrender. So embracing What Is, is Yes, soYes is a continuation of my journey with Surrender.

Receiving
In 2011 I was given so very much in terms of encouragement, love and compliments. I have never collected so many warm fuzzies at one time, and I came to discover that I have a very hard time receiving what comes my way. In the back of my mind I think about how we are not to take criticism too personally, and if so we should not take compliments too personally, either. At the end of the day, it is only what I think of myself that should matter. I need to stop seeing myself through the eyes of others -- my perception of their perception --  and start seeing myself clearly from within.

But.. then I realize that not being able to graciously receive what another is giving with their whole heart stops the flow. For them and for me. So I am learning, one compliment at a time.

Opening
I've been pretty open here on the blog, but being so in real life is much harder for me. Finding the words is so hard for me when they need to be spoken out loud. Take away my writing, and my confidence flags. I don't know why.. it's just that way.

Fearless
For years I have said No because I was afraid to say Yes (since agreeing to whatever it was might betray my lack of social prowess, or the fact that I'm a total beginner at something, and therefore clueless and stupid).

For years I have said Yes because I was afraid to say No (since saying no might make me appear to be selfish, greedy, or rude).

When we say No for the wrong reasons, we are saying Yes to fear.  When we say Yes for the wrong reasons, we are also saying Yes to fear. Fear has been making all my decisions. Fear has been directing the movie of my life! I have been known to go all deer-in-the-headlights when faced with any kind of decision. I'm not willing to live this paralysis anymore. I am embracing life on earth, perhaps for the first time in my 36 years.

I am saying Yes to the lessons of 2012 and.. to Yes itself!

What are you saying Yes to in 2012? Fear or something better?

_For years I was fixated on starting my New Year the perfect way. Namely, my bed had to be made and my sink shiny. My plans for the year ahead (including resolutions, which I gave up a few years ago and replaced with a Word of the Year) had to be firmly in place.

But I've learned that this type of superstition is a form of control, and I'm learning, slowly, how to surrender control.

_
Yet in my head somewhere I hear a voice saying 'How you start your year is how you will spend your year'.

In rebellion of this and all my previously held superstitions, I slept in on New Year's Day. I didn't make my bed when I got up. I put off taking a shower. I was still in my pajamas at 1:00 in the afternoon, when I was making pasta for my lunch and got a message that would change my day, my year, my life. My Dad, diagnosed with Alzheimer's many years ago, had been struggling with ill health for two months. Yet we had seen him rally and fight, making it easy to deny the inevitable. On New Year's Day we were told that he was no longer responsive to the people who cared for him, sick as he was with pneumonia. Clearly he was retreating, perhaps in response to the pain, perhaps preparing for his journey, we cannot know.

I had half an hour to eat my lunch, shower and be ready. I cursed myself for my New Year's rebellion that meant I wasn't even dressed at that late hour, yet in retrospect it's probably best I didn't have the time to sit and wonder what was about to happen as I waited for my family to come get me.

We crammed ourselves into his half of the tiny room at the nursing home. At one point there were seven of us there, dwindling down to four as my father's apparent struggle with his breathing led my brother-in-law to send my nieces and nephew home. His breathing was so labored and painful, yet for much of the time he seemed to be outside of consciousness. My sisters and I rubbed his shoulders, patted his chest and held his hands which did not hold ours back. Not knowing whether he knew we were there or not, we said soothing words. They increased his medication. He continued to breathe with difficulty. After nearly six hours of this, his body finally took ease from the medication. His breathing grew more shallow, his struggle just about over. We watched his chest as his respirations slowed and then, finally, stopped.  We drew in closer to be sure and to say our goodbyes, holding on to one another. Though I have dealt with death pretty openly since my mother passed, this was the first time I had ever been witness to a leavetaking. And in this moment, I had come full circle, recalling once again the birth I was present for at 21 -- another of the most moving experiences of my life. First breath, last breath, miracles both.

So, shall I spend the rest of 2012 the way I spent its first day? One hopes I do not have to watch people I love dying day in and day out. I suspect that if it's a truth foretold, it might mean that I would live a year in which I gave in to surrender and focused primarily on love and the sacredness of life, letting fear take a backseat..  and that would be a beautiful thing. No resolution consciously made on December 31st could have the same kind of eloquence.

2012 for me, so far, has been a little bit like being in suspended animation. I have not put my plan onto paper or into motion. I have not begun establishing new habits. I have been holding my breath, but also holding my family, and letting love inform my footsteps.

And so we have been enveloped by a particular grace I have only known following the death of each of my parents. I do not stop to wonder from whence it came. Though, if I did, I would imagine that in my father's new state of wholeness, his Egolessness and Love are now wings held aloft over all of us who cared for him in life. Holding off the storms of life for us, but just for a time. Soon he will be called again to service, in the flagless world of Heaven's army. The clouds will roll back in on his retreat, but this is okay. We shall have each other.

I will never experience my father's passing again, nor will I again be the person I was before it. But January 1st will come again and again. It is just a date on a calendar! We can begin anew in each moment, because we are new in each moment.

Rest well, Daddy. 1927-2012

_Well, I did it.

I decided to take the plunge and publicly reflect on the year we're leaving behind. Let's face it, I've never been one to hold my cards close to the vest, at least not as far as this blog is concerned. My barn burned down. Again and again. 2011, well.. it's been equally hard and beautiful. I am so grateful. And if I'm honest I'll admit that much of the beauty of 2011 came as a direct result of the barn-fires. Clearly poet Masahide was on to something.

This was a fabulous exercise in retraining the mind to see the good. I can easily rattle off all that I've lost, or all that went wrong, yet it is much harder to recall what's been accomplished..  that's just how we're wired. But it is a worthy effort nonetheless.

Here is a collection of my 2011 "I Did It!"s, both personally and blog-wise.

Soul Spackle got re-designed from scratch, changing from this to this.. and in June I re-launched it with 10 days of giveaways and the blog series Summer of Self-Love!

_I wrote, designed and released two ebooks, Unapologetically Whole and Tell Your Soul Story, the latter being part of the Goddess Circle's 30 Days of Goddess ecourse (Pssst! You can get it for free by signing up for my Museletter).

I played with art journaling and collage composition via 21 Secrets, The Elements of Art Journaling and Composition for Collage with Claudine Hellmuth, and had so much fun!

_I told a difficult truth -- one bound up with shame -- in a circle of women and was witnessed and healed.

My Museletter went out monthly, starting in July! And I blogged fairly regularly, honing my writing, strengthening my voice and being less afraid of the emotional and often sentimental tone of my writing.

I contributed guest posts for An Empowered Life, Moonlight Muse, The Spiral and the Lotus and .. I did a Soul Work interview with Jo of Crafting the Sacred which appeared on her blog just this month!

Finally got off of my acid reducer -- the last pharmaceutical to get kicked to the curb! (HOLY YES!)

I followed my spirit's directives much more often, sometimes not even pausing to ask "How the eff am I going to do THAT?"

_I launched my free e-course, 31 Days of Soul Medicine.

I took the time to nurture my friendships, new and old. I am so grateful for my spirit sisters who have proven themselves to be true friends in such a short time, and to those who have remained loyal and true despite not having the luxury of regular communication.. I carry you in my heart.

I completed one enormously fruitful and fulfilling year of being a mentor in the Goddess Circle.

I navigated the subway alone!

Learned some hard and painful truths about myself and those around me. I got really clear about what's mine and what isn't mine, and with lessons in hand, clarified my own intentions about what kind of business person and person I want to be this lifetime.

I uncovered a major pattern of control stemming from my childhood and started an enormous healing process for my family soul.

Had revelation after revelation about how I have let fear run my life, and I'm not going to do it anymore. (More on this in the New Year).

_I contributed to a writing anthology!

I enjoyed amazing music, television and books! (Top picks: Florence and the Machine, Ceremonials; The Walking Dead; Just Kids by Patti Smith)

I wrote my way through difficult times.

I completed a training program in MS Office and QuickBooks.

Offered guidance, proofreading, editing and design skills while trying to figure out my own personal business goals.. which was great fun!

I committed to the ever-evolving "project" of re-connecting to Nature wherever I am.

Good grief.. or should I say.. Holy Wow! Thank you, 2011.

Time now to "Shake It Out", it's hard to dance with a devil on your back...

Rx
You have recognized your doors, and passed over their thresholds with key in hand.

You have done your soul’s work from within the cave.

You have gathered bones.

You are not the same person who entered this space 31 days ago. You have been through the fires of transformation! This is true whether you did your soul work, or not, though the exact nature of your transformation could, in fact, be affected in some way by your commitment.

And yet.

The soul’s journey is a judgment-free zone. You are always free here, free of the shackles of the past. The Holy Now is the only moment that matters, and each moment is a fresh clean, slate. Each moment we begin again. No matter what happened yesterday, or what shall happen tomorrow, the soul’s journey requires we step into each moment fully awakened to its presence.

Prompt
Consider the past done. Ashes. Dust. What would you do if you knew that your past did not matter? That your past failures, old grudges, old pains, even old attachments to habits and identities have all fallen away, and this moment is an entirely clean slate? With your new soul’s knowledge, what would you choose to embrace? What would you pursue? Could you do it now?

Soul Craft
Your soul craft? To go through the previous days’ soul crafts and select one you didn’t do, for whatever reason. Do it today.

Have any stories to tell, arts or soul craft to share? Any new revelations or breakthroughs? I’d love to hear about them! 
Please feel free to email me at: sara at soulspackle dot com