Dear You,
You’ve been part of my life for so long, birds of a feather, and we were living a kind of comfortable — known — existence in shared misery and powerlessness. We thought we understood what others did not; that life is cruel and unfair, and that we are powerless to stop it from being so.
Yet what once bound us together, separates us now. I know that life isn’t just happening to me, without any opportunity for me to speak or take a stand; life is a verb, and life is a choice I make, and powerlessness only exists where I dare not look at the darkness that makes it so. My face is lifted out of the dark and into the sun, but I see you still in the shadows.
It is so hard. Because I cannot make you see the light, I cannot make you follow me. Like a parent I have to let go and trust that your own path will lead you to healing and strength; but since that time is not now, and not with me, I can’t stay. I can’t carry you into the light, yet I do not belong to these shadows any more. I do not belong in your fear and your shame and your sadness and selfishness and anger and need.
It does not mean that I don’t love you. It is because I love you that I cannot stay to enable you to devour yourself in anger, and I cannot allow the same to swallow me.
You may wish to ask that question that still rings in my heart, “Who do you think you are?”
I am powerful beyond measure, when I follow my heart.
And so will you be, when you are ready to claim it.
I take leave to fly now, but I will be waiting for you in the sunny spot.
All my love,
Sara
You’ve been part of my life for so long, birds of a feather, and we were living a kind of comfortable — known — existence in shared misery and powerlessness. We thought we understood what others did not; that life is cruel and unfair, and that we are powerless to stop it from being so.
Yet what once bound us together, separates us now. I know that life isn’t just happening to me, without any opportunity for me to speak or take a stand; life is a verb, and life is a choice I make, and powerlessness only exists where I dare not look at the darkness that makes it so. My face is lifted out of the dark and into the sun, but I see you still in the shadows.
It is so hard. Because I cannot make you see the light, I cannot make you follow me. Like a parent I have to let go and trust that your own path will lead you to healing and strength; but since that time is not now, and not with me, I can’t stay. I can’t carry you into the light, yet I do not belong to these shadows any more. I do not belong in your fear and your shame and your sadness and selfishness and anger and need.
It does not mean that I don’t love you. It is because I love you that I cannot stay to enable you to devour yourself in anger, and I cannot allow the same to swallow me.
You may wish to ask that question that still rings in my heart, “Who do you think you are?”
I am powerful beyond measure, when I follow my heart.
And so will you be, when you are ready to claim it.
I take leave to fly now, but I will be waiting for you in the sunny spot.
All my love,
Sara
